I'm feeling really uptight now. Want to be on my way. Nerves kicked in yesterday. I was reading another travel blog about someone taking the Trans-Siberian to Ulaan Bator - she said that she had a knot in her stomach before leaving home, I presume it's gone now, cos it's well and truly lodged in my tummy. Haven't felt like eating over the past couple of days (very un-me!), I can't settle or concentrate on anything, am constantly wondering whether I've made a terrible mistake etc, etc, etc.
Tried to take my mind off things. I packed my bag - and repacked it, and repacked it - sure that there was something I'd forgotten to pack. I know there must be a dozen things I should have done and haven't, but can't think what they might be. Called the ex on Thursday evening, told her that I felt I ought to let her know I was going travelling for a few months. She said that was nice, didn't ask where or when I was going, but proceeded over the next 10 minutes to tell me that her life was really great, that she was 'probably' moving in with her new guy this weekend. She did then get around to asking if this was my attempt at 'moving on', 'getting over her', etc. I told her I'd moved on with 3 different women since we'd split in August 04 - most recently with Sheena, 22. Her response to that was to tell me that she'd had an eighteen year-old guy hit on her (she's 43), that he had told her that she was 'fit' and 'gorgeous' and that he REALLY wanted to sleep with her. I asked if she had slept with him. She said no. I said, 'so what's your point?' That was pretty much the end of that particular conversation and anything to do with that particular person. The phrase self-obsessed doesn't come close to describing her. I wished her a happy life and hung up.
Cx called yesterday morning, asked how I was doing. 'Nervous and feeling quite low', was the answer. So after dropping the kids at school she came over and took me out for the day. We went to Westonbirt arboritum, wandered around the leafy glades arm in arm, scuffing through the fallen leaves and admiring the glorious autumn colours even under the grey and damp skies. It was magical - being amongst trees always makes me feel good, it's an odd thing - I almost feel myself becoming a tree, putting roots deep into the ground and drawing energy. Later we went to a Olde English Pub and had a late, lazy lunch and dried out by the fireside
She should be here soon, she's taking me to the station to catch the train/bus via Reading to Heathrow. So it's time to switch off my laptop, pack it in my bag and go and say goodbye to my mom.
World, I'm on my way!
Delx